Michelle, 51 years old
Lives in Catalonia for 21 years
Tell me about yourself
My name is Michelle. I am from France, but I am actually half French and half Italian. When I was 30 years old, I met and fell in love with a man from Catalonia. After a year on the road between the two countries, I finally decided to quit my job and move here. I feel great in Catalonia. My life has worked out here and I don't plan to go back to France. Of course, never say never. Who knows how life will turn out, but I am very comfortable here and I am happy. I have a home, a job I love and two children - sons Luca and Mateo. They are Spanish who speak perfect French. I am very comfortable here and I am happy.
Is it easy to be French in Spain?
Quite easy, but there are nuances. The French are a very proud and strong nation. And look down on a lot of things. They have a strong economy, culture and history behind them. Compared to France, Spain still has a lot of room to grow. In the 50's a lot of poor people from Spain and Italy came to France in search of work and a better life. My father's parents also moved in those days. Perhaps because of this migration, the French had a prejudice against the Spanish. And I didn't even think about it until I moved here. The French generally think that nowhere is as good as France. France is everything to us! So a Frenchman and Spain probably won't be love at first sight. It will be a story of patience and acceptance. The French are perfectly accepted in Spain when they don't behave arrogantly. The initial attitude to the new environment is extremely important.
How long did it take you to adjust to your new life?
I was very lucky! I lived with a Catalan and he was very good at "selling" me his favorite city and local traditions. He took me to cool places, introduced me to friends. In general, I had this integration strategy: not to socialize with the French. I didn't want to build a community of my compatriots around me and be a part of it. I wanted to adopt the Spanish mentality and speak Spanish as soon as possible. I went to an intensive language school for the first three months. And then I got my first job. My adaptation was quick. I felt welcomed from the first day. People around me were very interested in me, interested in life in France. There was no any kind of hostility.
What surprised you the most in Spain?
The first thing that struck me was that people here live outside. I'm from a small town in the Alps. It's winter half the year. We spend a lot of time at home or visiting. In my town, going to an establishment probably means drinking something alcoholic together. But here you just go to a cafe in the morning for breakfast, then with a friend for coffee, then for lunch combined with a work meeting or dinner with the family. It was very unusual for me at first.
If you get bored or uncomfortable at home, you go outside. It gives you energy. You feel it, you distinguish the smells, you chat with the baker and everything gets back to normal. And I still love it. I remember the first Christmas I went to visit my parents in France. And he said: "It's so sad. Why is it so cold here? No sun. No terrace. What am I going to do all vacation?" My sudden change was very amusing even to myself!
The second thing I couldn't get used to was the very late dinner. I'm used to going to bed at 10:00 at night. This is the time when Spaniards tend to sit down at the table. When my children were small, I could still balance it. Their father would come home from work around 9 pm. The kids were already asleep. And we would have dinner with him separately. I don't understand this because we don't do this in France (and in particular in my family). I either had dinner with the kids or waited for my husband. I don't know how to dine alone. As the kids got older they started saying, "Mom, you can't go to bed. We want to eat!" At first I tried to fight it, but then I realized I couldn't do anything. They have school, friends, soccer. They come in late, take a shower and only then go to dinner. Around 9:30. And there's nothing I can do about that routine.
Another thing that hinders a lot is bureaucracy. In any state structure you can be told that you don't have one document and you need to come back tomorrow. This is a common story. There's very little organization. You depend very much on the people around you. I believed that society would grow with time in this matter, but practice shows that Spaniards are like this by nature and they don't want it. You can only accept it here, become more flexible and look for other ways to deal with your issues. I haven't fully accepted it. And from time to time I dream of changing everything.
Do you feel like a local?
I do feel in my place, but I don't feel Spanish. That's a fact. And I don't want to lose my French identity. I have tried from the very first day to meet the locals and understand their life, language and way of thinking. But there are some things that are impossible to comprehend. For example, I've been dancing flamenco for three years now. And I'm so bad! I try, but I don't feel this dance. I think it's in their blood. Of course, there are exceptions. I saw a Japanese woman who danced like a pure-blooded Andalusian. But that's obviously not my case. (laughs) Sometimes I realize that in some ways it would be easier if I were Spanish. Reaching out to someone or getting what I need. But those situations don't happen very often.
What was your first impression of Barcelona?
When I first came here, I didn't know anything about Spain and Catalonia yet. I was enchanted by Barcelona: the beach, the magical soft light, the architecture, the streets.... I had my fears about living in a big city, but they all dissipated immediately. Exploring Barcelona was a pleasure.
What is Barcelona to you?
I myself have never lived in the center of Barcelona. I've been living in Sant Cugat (a satellite town 20 minutes away from the center) since the beginning. And when I come here, it's a vacation, an escape from routine and a day of relaxation.
How has the city changed in the last 20 years?
Twenty years ago, of course, there weren't as many people and hotels here. During that time, they built a whole terminal (the first one) at the airport. It was very small.
What has Barcelona lost to mass tourism?
Barcelona is losing locals. Because of the high prices, many people can no longer live in the center. Entire neighborhoods have appeared where locals don't want to settle. Raval, for example. And Barcelona has lost security. The risk of being robbed is very high. It's very sad. You can no longer walk around at night and feel safe like you used to.
Your advice to those who come here to live and work
I have worked a lot with people who have moved here. I say the same thing to everyone: to adapt to Barcelona's regime, make more contacts. It helps a lot to get involved in social and professional life.
What kind of people are attracted to Barcelona?
Difficult question. Barcelona is a very attractive city. I can understand those who aspire to live here. You will have a successful life here and it doesn't matter where you come from, but there is one condition. A lot of things will come up that will be frustrating. In the beginning, you'll think you can change them. But no. These things will not change. Spaniards and Catalans won't change. You have to figure out if the Spanish mentality and rhythm of life suits you. If it does and you are ready to change, you will have a happy life.
What are your favorite places in Barcelona?
I love the Born neighborhood, the beach, the Rambla de Catalunya and Passeig de Gracia. It's like I'm on vacation here. I don't come for shopping. I relax with a cup of coffee on the terrace and look at people. And just walking around. I'm in Barcelona a couple times a month. Usually my friends and I come for dinner on a Saturday night. I love Bar el Velodromo. It's a very old tapas restaurant. It's simple but very authentic. I also like Flash Flash. Also very typical of Barcelona. They sell many different kinds of tortillas there.
